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| Little Pink Bike |
February 27, 2005 22:06 |
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Karen Atkinson
Ottawa |
When we were in university, Paula had this little pink kids banana seat bicycle.
I remember walking down Oliver Rd. looking across the busy morning traffic and way on the other side I would see Paula speeding along on her little bike, her knees practically hitting her nose because the bike was so small!
In late fall ,the bike would also be accompanied by a toque that she had , that had a pom-pom that was pretty much the size of her head.
It always made me laugh my ass off!
The next year Paula and I were roomates for the fall semester while we finished up our degrees. I was always so happy when I got to borrow the pink bike to go somewhere. It was so much fun to ride.
Then, on my birthday that year, I came home and in the living room was the Pink Bike all tuned and sparkling clean with a big bow on the handle bars!!!!!!!! I couldn't believe it!!!!! Best present ever!!!!!!
Paula, you are so much fun!!!! |
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| Life as a Bike Guide with Paula |
February 24, 2005 19:25 |
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Andrea Dowd
Vancouver |
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In 1996, I embarked on a journey to become a bike guide with a company called Timberline Adventures in Denver. It was here that I had the opportunity to be touched by Paula. We were Bossom buddies(roommates) right from the start, it was like we had known each other for years. People at the training weekend thought we had come down there as a team, and were shocked that we had just met. But Paula just had this way about her that made you feel welcomed no matter who you were. The training weekend consisted of all that we would encounter as guides. One thing I remember, is that we had to pick-up hypothetical guests at airport Safeway, a mock run tour. While Paula and I being the fun-loving adventurers from Canada, (who drank beer and said eh. She even had our American counterparts trying to use it in sentences in the proper context), were so taken by all the food selections, we wandered around the store lost in all the merchandise..totally forgetting about why we were actually there? and of course laughing until my gut hurt. Paula had this infectious laugh, that once you got started, you couldn't stop. Once the day concluded, a bunch of our fellow american guides would pull out their guitars, and of course Paula's eyes would light up.. she would pick one of the guitars up and start to play. We spent the whole weekend sleep deprived. We would stay up late and talk about life, and laugh about all the crazy things that we Canadians sterotype about Americans. In the end, the Americans won both our hearts, we admired, respected and loved our fellow American guides (Jorge, Tim, Christina),and made some awesome friends. Paula was always up for anything, she was a friendly, competent,patient person. I cannot express how much she touched the lives of all the Timberline guests and fellow guides. It sadden me when I heard how she was taken from us, and it shocks me to think how many miles she drove as a Timberline guide(Denver to Alaska), how many miles she cycled, hiked, skied,and climbed? Words cannot express the loss we have all felt... we must remember that Paula lived life to the fullest, and she would want us to continue on with her love of life. We will miss you Paula? I will always remember our times together, and one day we will meet again. Love Andrea |
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| Laugh |
February 20, 2005 03:33 |
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Pam
Vancouver |
When I met Paula, she was working to move into the city, and I was working to move out of it... she was so good at all the things I wanted - and to my surprise - I had something to offer too. We traded clothes, gear, and some secrets to our new worlds.
Mostly, the things I remember are too fresh and too new to be just memories. We shared music, courage, challenges, orange pants, fun, giggles, and sometimes serious stuff. Like, how do I fit kayaking into my schedule and still manage to have a boyfriend? What am I supposed to wear? In what kind of back pack should we package our unborn and unplanned, completely hypothetical, babies? Is this map upside-down? Do you think I could pull you in a wagon on rollerblades? (which was a great success, although lacking in the braking department!) All in all, a lot of 'will we ever' moments.
Paula let me be as free as I wanted, and loved me for it. Everything was funny. I ache to make her laugh just for a moment again. I wanted to share something that is familiar and universal, and to me, it is Paula's laugh.
Here's a pic of me laughing at Paula... as usual, she's the one with my camera, so she isn't in the pic - but she's laughing too.
I hope it makes you laugh today. |
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| Christmas in Canmore |
February 17, 2005 13:28 |
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Alaina Fraser
Canmore, Alberta |
A few months after Paula had surgery on her feet, we met this wonderful woman at a party where she was living. I think it was a couple of weeks later that during an early fall storm in the Canmore Valley, someone had said they heard it was beautiful weather over by Radium, so carloads of us drove out to Spillamacheen to do a little sport climbing. I remember so well - Paula walking up the trail backwards to minimize the work on her feet. We watched her climb that day - and were impressed by her skill - like she had no injury at all. But this story is about Christmas.
Paula had to make a move and we offered our spare room to her and said we would love to have her stay with us. Luckily for us - she accepted. Lucky in the sense it gave us some time to get to know her better and learn from her unbeatable positive attitude. Christmas was coming soon and Paula would be staying in the Canmore area that year as she couldn't make a trip to be with her family. I wanted to make sure she had as warm a Christmas as possible. My husbands family are 'Christmas Stocking' types and so we both had them. I made one up for Paula too, and it hung on our mantle like she was our little sister or even our child in some ways. We knew we could not replace family, but we could be the best friends to Paula we could be instead.
On Christmas morning, after we had our glasses of Champagne by the fire, opened all our gifts and made our family phonecalls, I watched Paula looking over her gifts like they were long lost treasures. She was very very happy at that time, and this made my heart feel so warm and glad that Paula's Christmas with us was a good one.
When Paula lived with us, we often had supper together like we were a family. We enjoyed many conversations by the fire or out on the back deck soaking up the sun. We enjoyed hearing about Paula's weekly new next career as it evolved from helicopter pilot to fitness trainer. We also had the pleasure of meeting several of Paula's friends, which was another solid indication that Paula is a truly amazing person and she continues to be an influence on myself and I am sure, others too. |
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| Fig Newtons |
February 17, 2005 00:17 |
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Karen Atkinson
Ottawa |
I decided to go to Banff one summer to find a job. Six hours after arriving , I was walking down the street and Paula walked out of a store. It was so weird to see each other out of context (normally Thunder Bay).
I hadn't spent too much time with Paula prior to meeting in Banff, but this didn't stop us from becoming instant buddies.
So, by the end of the week I had found a job, but more importantly , Paula and I had arranged all the same days off!
This was the start of some serious fun and fig newton eating.
Everyday we had off would start with a loose plan of where we would go, then to the grocery store to buy a big pack of fig newtons. We would then proceed to scramble up mountains so that we could eat the fig newtons at the top!
The trip down would usually include a dip in a frigid glacial lake (for which we would often get strange looks from passers by).
These were such great days. I love to review them in my head , and to look back on the hilarious, fun, crazy things we did.
Paula always encouraged me to step out and try things I normally wouldn't. So many times I would find myself not participating in something because I wasn't very good at it- but with Paula , you could suck at whatever you were doing, but you would be doing it and having soooo much fun. She was always so supportive and patient.
I always think of you Paula whenever I do up my old hiking boots that I bought with you that summer. |
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| always remembering |
February 16, 2005 17:00 |
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Sarah
Canmore |
I remember one weekend in University when we were both home for Christmas- we decided to go snowboarding in the States. We drove out with 7 Mary 3 blaring in the stereo and discussed future adventures, and crazy ones we had already had- like sledding on cafeteria trays down the a ski hill in THunder Bay at 3 in the morning. We got playing pool with some people we met at the ski hill and came home late that night and had both our parents worried. My parents loved Paula as well and would include her in packages they sent to me or talk with her on the phone longer than they would me! I thought it was cool that we could hang out in University and still want to get together over the short holidays we had with family. Once I visited her in Milton and I felt like i was back in elementary school going for a sleep over. She showed me old highschool photos, and her mom cooked the best meal and we took the Honda 80 out for some spins around the yard. When I moved to New York- she came out and visited and I showed her around the school I worked for and together we explored possible climbing sites, and social scenes to make a year of living in Canton New York seem doable. I had driven out to Canmore with Paula back in 1998 ( this time with Cake being the music of choice) and after I left there I knew I would return someday. Sure enough I did- but I wouldn't have if Paula weren't living there. Paula was a major reason that Canmore was so attractive and knowing she was there gave me the confidence that I could make a home of it. I realize now looking back at our friendship that being around Paula made me really at ease, with a situation, she gave me confidence and a sense of belonging. I realize more and more that I don't miss DOING things with Paula- but I miss how I felt when I was around her- relaxed, calm, myself, honest. She was so good at being real that that is all you wanted to be back- what a gift.
I remember you every day Paula and still find strength in who you helped me to be... You are one of a kind- a true gem.
I took your skis out the other day and I think they were a little disapointed that there was this gumby holding them back from the turns and jumps they were so familiar with when you piloted them... but I still felt the good mojo-
Love Sarah |
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| FAMILY |
February 16, 2005 14:20 |
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Kelly Scott
Acton, Ontario |
I'm Paula's cousin but she was so much more to me than that, she was also my best friend and a sister. Family was very important to Paula, I've never seen a relationship so close between parent/child and sister/sister they were always there for each other good and bad. A relationship each family dreams of having that is why I so lucky to be part of that family.
Now, on to some memories. When Paula and Lesley was about 2/3yrs old, I would come over for a family visit and the first thing that would come out of their mouths, can we play fight(it was a game we made up between the three of us). Basically, they would charge at me and try to knock me over and body slam me(the games kids play, it was fun).
Paula's music talents all started when she was 9yrs old I think. She decided to pick a musical instrument...laugh...of all the instruments she picked the accordion, this thing was bigger than she was but could she play it. It made my eyes watery.
My last memory I'll talk about is our last family gathering(Summer 2003). Paula came home from out West and Lesley came home the orient, so we decided that all the family should get together. This really tells you how family ment to her. She was in pain, her feet were red and sore but that did not stop her from getting up and playing with my daughter(Sarah-6yrs old, her little buddy). They both laughed and smiled which I can see now in my thoughts. Nothing was going to stop her from playing with Sarah(the strength it must of took for her to do that, it makes me admire her more). Sarah knows you are her guardian angel now and that you will always be with her.
P.S. the picture of Paula with the little girl is my daughter Sarah. It is my favorite picture of them together because Sarah hanging on to every world that Paula is saying to her. It is hanging on my wall in the kitchen now.
Miss you dear friend, sister and cousin. I know you are with me.
Love Kelly |
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| first s, lasts, forevers |
February 13, 2005 03:37 |
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me again!
this time in arizona |
you are my first and forever everything
first companion and friend
first accomplice and fellow shit-disturber
first defender and ally (together we were soooo strong)
first person i truly respected
first person i idolized (tried to imitate) and stared in complete awe of
first person to answer my scary questions -- truthfully
…to be honest without being critical
…to really listen (and without judgment)
…to hold no grudges (you just moved on…)
first person to tell me that i was good and have me believe it
first person to tell me “it is going to be ok” and, alas, it was ok.
and now everything is full of “lasts”… (“the last time we…”)
and it’s not fair.
i expected to have many more firsts with you.
i thought we would grow old together.
and now i’m lost.
however… i think i’m going to be ok
(i’m only strong cause you’re strong)
“it is going to be ok” you said, and i believe you
Our “last” day: our “last” song: “Float On”…bouncing up and down in our seats and screaming the lyrics in your car on that beautiful sunny day in October; other drivers looking at us as though we were nuts (which we clearly and proudly were):
“I backed my car into a cop car the other day!
Well he just drove off sometimes life’s ok!
I ran my mouth of a bit too much oh what can I say!
Well you just laughed it off it was all ok!
And we’ll all float on ok…”
and then we hugged. (oh i miss your hugs)
you were going to be ok, you said
you were happy
i watched your car drive away and i remember thinking:
(of all Beings) i love you the most |
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| Be my Obi Wan Kenobi??? |
February 6, 2005 19:02 |
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Matt
Calgary - ish |
Five Years had passed since I had last seen Paula. Little did I know that a small piece of serendipity in a chance encounter with an old friend would become a fateful goodbye. That was five days before she left our world.
She looked and sounded as great as ever.(and always will be)Despite her pain that I would later hear about in conversation. While this saddened me, it was good to hear her say that she had fallen in with a great bunch of folks in Calgary.(by all the evidence I see, very true) From our chat, I had the sense that she had found her niche using her strengths of compassion, kindness and enthusiasm. Perhaps fulfilling her role in the world all along, be it hidden even to herself.
Rewinding back to our days of ski patrolling at Norquay some of the things I can remember are.... Being laughed at after a good wipeout, changing my face from a scowl to a reluctant grin.(reminding me not to take myself so seriously) Watching Paula on skis absolutely rip up the mountain. Spending the afternoons in the lift shacks chatting about nothing in particular just enjoying good company. Paula just Giv'ner on the dance floor doing a Popeye the sailor man jig or James Brown boot'eh groove, depending on who was playing town that night. "Right Arm." Her unpretentious and fun loving nature.
Fast forward to the present and the defragmentation process that follows such a tragic event.
Originally I had sought solace in friends, nature and music. All things I know Paula held dear to her heart and that are as beautiful as she was.(and her spirit is)
[if you like the blues,even a bit
check out Harry Manx "Live". Both "Sunday Morning Ascension" and "Don't forget to miss me" fall close to the mark. Alright,even if you have to sing "Sister" over "Brother" really loudly. FUBAR fans see "Stairway"]
...Yes, I think Paula's spirit is Out There
smiling on us, her spirit manifest in all that is beautiful ,good and uplifting. Be it in the company and warmth of good friends and familly. In alpenglow, mountains and stars. Rock n roll powerchords, sweet blues rifts and funky stuff that gets your groove on. In a devil may care grin in high places and high speeds. In your stamp collection or whatever healthy thing that makes you glad to be alive. Hey, make your own list.....
Problem is; obviously. Life ain't always pretty.
You're not always on a mountaintop (where you wanna be) with friends (who you wanna be with) and sunny weather.(how you want it to be) For you may as well be stuck in a swamp,tired, alone and lost, with it raining(of course).
..Yup, it's in the swamp where I believe Paula is Out There, rooting for us the most.
Defiance against bitterness and anger(the darkside) despite what must of been great frustration given her circumstance, sounds like the Paula I knew. Possibly her most beautiful example to us all...
It's in the delicate mix between flexibilty and grim determination.(FUBAR fans read "Plan B;Jus'Giver") In seeing what you DO HAVE. In the laugh that breaks a struggle. In the growl that comes with newfound resolve. In Triumph(however big or small) that Paula's spirit is felt. Hey, make your own list......
Point is; mountaintop or face down in the muck, know she is with you.
Paula, ride with me on the mountainwinds and guide me through the swampy bits. Be my Obi Wan Kenobi. Thanks so much. Love you buddy
, Matt |
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| One of many Flames Games... |
February 3, 2005 20:43 |
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Heather Ilsley
Calgary, AB |
I remember when Paula and I decided to get tickets to a Flames game during their 2004 season. We had no idea that they'd make the playoffs and we'd have a few months of watching games around town or at the gym. Instead we figured we should probably catch a game 'while we could'.
There were 4 of us attending the game and I wanted to park as close as possible to the Saddledome so that we could minimize the time Paula was on her feet. The lot where we parked closely resembled a Toyko traffic jam and I was told to move my car no fewer than 5 times so that they could pack more vehicles in the lot. Meanwhile poor Paula was on her feet outside the car directing me into a space so small I should have had some kind of lube to fit into it. Finally, satisfied that we had done all we could I turned off the car and got ready to go. The parking lady looked at me and said "Excuse me, would you mind moving your car another two and a half inches to the left?" Frustrated with this nonsense I told her "Yes I MIND." We all started laughing and left to watch the game.
Paula and I were sitting in our seats and she leaned over and said "Heather, that was priceless, I'm so proud of you for standing up to that woman." Then in the next breath she said "Do you think the ref is cute?" This time it was my turn to laugh!
Paula, I love you, I miss you, and every day I try to be a better person because of the things you taught me. |
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| Superstore Shopping - Paula Style |
February 2, 2005 11:56 |
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Rhonda
Calgary |
I will never forget the fun we had in the grocery store. It was November 2004. Paula and I went to Superstore because she wanted to buy some groceries. By then she was so accustomed to carrying her little folding stool with her. We sat in the aisle of power bars and protein powders analyzing the nutritional content of some new products. Paula decided on some stuff, and we carried on - Paula leaning on the cart to ease the discomfort in her hips. She remarked that Safeway carts are better because they are easier to lean on!
About halfway through the shopping, Paula says she might have to stop because her hips were getting too sore.
But we were in Superstore, and the carts are huge, so Paula agreed to let me push her around in the cart! She sat in the lower front part and we finished the shopping laughing our heads off. Just another example of Paula's amazing positive attitude and her great ability to be adaptable.
I felt a moment of sadness that grocery shopping had become so difficult for my friend because of her RSD. But I only had to look at her smiling face and radiant eyes to know that if Paula wasn't bummed, I didn't have to be either.
Love you buddy...and miss you very much....Light and Love to You. |
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February 1, 2005 15:53 |
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Dawn Miller ( Gibber)
Milton, Ontario |
Paula touched my life in so many ways. I have missed her every day since she left Milton.
A bunch of us were going to the Pearl Jam concert and stayed at Paula’s house the night before. That night she had a dream that she gave Eddie a necklace and he wore it as he sang. Sure enough that day she was determined, she made to front row, launched it at him, he caught it and held on to it as he sang. I can still see her face.
So many memories, Paula you are one in a million. I miss you. |
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| Thanks Paula! |
February 1, 2005 00:43 |
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Ilona Berbekar
Canmore |
I first met Paula at Monod's in Banff, when I was looking for a pair of alpine touring skis. She struck me as being down to earth and very genuine. Well, I took her advice and bought the skis she suggested for me. I've loved them ever since; now I think of her every time I use them.
I met Paula again when she was living at Warren's place in Canmore. I got to know her during a time of her life that she faced her greatest challenges. The fact that she always pushed herself to the highest level and had such courage helped her cope with this new chapter.
Paula - you touched many lives and we all miss you but have benefited from knowing you. Wherever you are, I hope you are having a blast! |
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January 31, 2005 14:21 |
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Warren
Canmore |
After a 1 hour drive to the trailhead for a ski tour in March 2002 with Paula and other friends, I realized that I had forgotten my climbing skins. A friend loaned me one of his and we clambered awkwardly to the summit of a nearby peak. At the top, Paula planned to rest her sore heels by waiting on top and watching us ski down. I would use her climbing skins to come back up. Person after person in our group dropped down the slope trailing snowy plumes. With only Paula and me still on top, she asked “how hard is it for you to climb with one skin?” I grinned and replied that it was no problem at all. Stepping into her skis, she dropped into the chute without another word. Half way down she stopped, looked back up at me with radiant smile, let out a whoop, then finished the slope. Paula’s exuberance for life wasn’t limited to the mountains; rather, and more meaningfully, it was expressed in her persistence in getting back to her feet every time she was knocked down and doing so with a positive spirit.
While I don’t subscribe to any one faith, I do find that this Jewish prayer resonates with me…"Memory can only tell us what we were, in company with those we loved; it cannot help us find what each of us, alone, must now become. Yet no person is really alone, those who live no more echo within our thoughts and words, and what they did has become woven into what we are." I have no doubt and feel extremely fortunate that threads of Paula’s spirit are woven into who I am and will be. Invaluable threads of joy, empathy, and tenacity. |
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| The Axis |
January 29, 2005 04:22 |
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Me
Paula la-la land |
Paula never bragged. She was too modest.
But I'M not, so...
PAULA COULD PLAY ALONG TO JIMI'S GUITAR SOLOS AT AGE 17!!
I have your Jimi Hendrix cd. The one I always used to steal and you'd have to go digging around my messy room looking for... Right now I'm listening to our old fave, 'Bold As Love' cranked to the max, getting the same body buzz I got the first time we played the song together. You as Jimi. Me as Mitch. Ha ha. We were SOOOO damn loud. Our poor parents. But they never did complain did they?
"MY YELLOW IN THIS CASE IS NOT SO MELLOW!"
Our last phone conversation. Dec 9th. You played me your new songs (you were going back...in order to go forward...) and although the genre had changed, your style hadn't.It was all your own. You were always just YOU.
You make me, me.
Everyone: get Hendrix's 'Bold As Love' and play it at maximum volume. This is what Paula was like at age 17... (and will always be)... Powerful and beautiful.
"JUST ASK THE AXIS..."
fly on little wing... |
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| RIGHT ARM! |
January 28, 2005 16:22 |
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adam rosenthal
new york city |
HEY PAULA! thanks for showing me what it means to be strong in the face of adversity, and to always have a postive outlook. you have changed my life. i miss you, i love you, RIGHT ARM FOREVER!!!!
love be with you, wherever you now are,
adam |
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| Paula in Thunder Bay |
January 28, 2005 13:05 |
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Allison Smith
Toronto, ON |
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I played basketball with Paula at Lakehead and had the luck of knowing her for a few years. All of my memories of Paula include uncontrollable laughter, endless energy and living life to the fullest. She will be missed. |
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| Paula doin Pull-Ups |
January 28, 2005 12:48 |
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Rhonda
Calgary,AB |
Just remembering Paula doing some pull-ups during a training session. She focused on her strengths and always encouraged everyone else to do the same. Miss ya buddy.
- Rhonda |
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| Ford Ranger |
January 28, 2005 00:17 |
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Karen Atkinson
Ottawa ON |
Whenever I see a Ford Ranger truck, I always think of Paula. She loved that truck, and anytime we were driving it to and from our adventures, and we saw another Ford Ranger driving along, Paula would wave madly and yell "Hello fellow Ford Ranger" to the passing vehicle.
It always made me laugh and since those days I have never been able to pass a Ford Ranger without thinking "Hello fellow ford ranger" and of Paula.
It is one of many things that Paula gave me that will stick with me for life!!!!! |
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| A Big Run! |
January 27, 2005 19:38 |
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Robyn Kettle
White Rock, BC |
Paula and one of her friends had driven from Thunder Bay to North Bay to spend the night and my and Lesley's (Paula's sister) house. This was about a 10+ hour drive...do you think Paula wanted to chill and hang out with us? Nope. Instead, after some chinese food the two of them went for a 1-hour run,returned to our house and hit the sack. The next morning they were up and on the road at the crack of dawn! Not your typical university students. This left Lesley and I both shocked and inspired by the dedication.
I attached a pic of Shel Silverstein's "The Giving Tree" - because Paula gave and gave and gave.
All my love! |
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